Chapter 254: Who Is Your Big Brother?
After eating a large pile of peanuts, I am not an idiot. I know these things don’t exist in the mortal world, and I’m not foolish enough to sell them cheaply like regular peanuts. Instead, I gave them a very powerful and resonant name: “Laozi’s Snacks.”
Furthermore, if you want to drink in my tavern for a whole year, you get one peanut, and not a single one otherwise. Don’t even think about it.
Then, I, in my infinite silliness, would sit at a table every day, take out peanuts, and chew them handful by handful, making the idiots who came to drink jealous.
I say these scoundrels were almost driven mad by me. They all acted like they had never seen the world before. After buying their annual pass, they’d line up at my tavern door every day to get in. Their only purpose wasn’t for anything else, they just wanted to work for me for free. Every day, after I finished eating, they’d help me clean the tables and sweep the floor, using this opportunity to collect a little of the leftover scraps from my meal. Damn, I was truly craving it!
Of course, they were only following the rules not because they wanted to. Many powerful individuals, from heaven and earth, had come before and wanted to steal my peanuts. But after I beat them into a daze with two swift blows, I threw them into the East Sea to feed the dragons.
Since then, ordinary brats have never dared to cause trouble in my tavern again.
After a few years, I hired two non-human beings to help me manage the tavern. One was a tiger spirit named Little Tiger, and the other was a ghoul named Waiter.
I found that these two had decent character. They ate vegetarian meals, recited Buddha, did not do evil, and especially liked to help others without expecting any reward.
I took them on, offering one peanut per person per year as their reward.
However, after being with me for a long time, these two kept asking me about a person called the “Invincible Awesome Chan Xin Great Master,” whom they referred to as their Eldest.
I’ve told them many times that I don’t know him, but they still ask me about him whenever they have the chance. This makes Big Brother extremely speechless…
Seeing that they always liked to mention this name, and since I had forgotten who I was myself, I simply borrowed it. I started using “Chan Xin,” a vulgar yet extremely elegant and undoubtedly powerful name, as my own.
After I started using it, these two became unwilling. They said their Eldest’s name could not be infringed upon and they kept nagging me endlessly. This infuriated me. What kind of people did I hire? They dared to be so defiant with me, their shopkeeper?
I beat them dozens of times and dragged them to the four seas to scare them into thinking I would feed them to dragons, but this did not make them submit. Their loyalty moved me so much that I stopped arguing with them.
The two also proposed a condition: seeing that I was not a bad person, they would temporarily lend me their Eldest’s name. But once they found their Eldest, I could no longer use it. It was only a temporary loan.
I was too lazy to argue with them. I didn’t have a name in the first place, so which one I used was the same, right? It was just a codename. So, I agreed to their condition. Actually, I was too lazy to bother with these trivial matters.
One day, three very interesting individuals came to the shop: a large golden toad, leading a human little fatty and a lecherous ghost, all here for a drink. The rules were posted at the door, and these three were sensible. Upon entering, they only ordered some drinks, then took out their own snacks from their pockets and began to drink.
“Second Brother, where do you think our Eldest could be? He’s been gone for hundreds of years. Could it be that Eldest is no longer with us?”
Upon hearing this, the Big Toad, called Second Brother, instantly became furious. He abruptly stood up, slammed the table, and pointed his toad claw at the Lecherous Ghost who had asked the question, roaring, “What the hell are you saying?! Say that again if you dare!”
The Lecherous Ghost trembled from the scolding and quickly stood up, pleading, “Second, Second Brother, I didn’t mean that. I, I was just worried about Eldest, so, so I couldn’t help but say it. I…”
“What the hell! Who is our Eldest? He absolutely cannot be dead! Even if you died a dozen times, he wouldn’t die! I, I will absolutely smash your face today on behalf of Eldest!” After saying this, the Big Toad grabbed the Lecherous Ghost by the collar, his fists clenched.
Seeing them like this, the human little fatty also quickly stood up to block between them and stop them. “Second Brother, Second Brother, please calm down. This brat didn’t mean it. We’ve been looking for Eldest for decades without finding him. Fourth Brother didn’t mean it either, don’t take it to heart.”
After speaking to the toad, the little fatty turned around, took a handful of dry dog feces from his pocket, and handed it to the Lecherous Ghost. “What the hell, you idiot! You say anything but that Eldest is gone. Here, I’ll save you some face this time. Hurry up and eat it to apologize to Second Brother, otherwise, next time you say something like that again, don’t blame me, your Third Brother, for feeding it to you myself.”
Looking at the dog feces in his hand, and then at the Big Toad who was glaring at him, the Lecherous Ghost, with great insight, tilted his head back and threw the dog feces into his mouth. However, he didn’t swallow it directly. Instead, he began to chew it in his mouth, saying as he chewed, “Second Brother, please don’t be angry with me. Damn it, look at my cursed mouth, it has no filter at all. No matter what, I shouldn’t say that Eldest is gone. I deserve to eat this dog feces. Damn it, my mouth is unruly, I should eat some dog feces to help it remember.”
Hearing the Lecherous Ghost speak like this, the bumpy toad’s originally tense expression finally eased slightly. However, one could still sense a trace of worry and helplessness in its expression. It slowly exhaled a breath of turbid air and then sighed deeply, as if the long-suppressed sorrow in its heart was released with this sigh. “Alas… Fourth Brother, please don’t take what Second Brother just said to heart! Actually, Second Brother truly didn’t mean to blame you for anything. Let’s just say, back then, when Eldest and a few of us became sworn brothers, pledging loyalty and kowtowing, he once solemnly swore an oath. We agreed that even if we couldn’t be born on the same year, month, and day, we wished to die on the same year, month, and day. Eldest, that guy has always kept his promises, and moreover, for someone as powerful as him, how could he just disappear like that? I don’t believe it! I believe he is definitely still alive! He is the Invincible Awesome Chan Xin Great Master! We are the most invincible, most handsome, hehehehe, most mischievous Eldest! He, he definitely won’t…”
Before the Big Toad could finish speaking, Little Tiger and Waiter, upon hearing this, became instantly excited and walked over. They both asked in unison, “Who did you say your Eldest is?”
The three were stunned by Little Tiger and Waiter’s question and looked at them with puzzled expressions.
The human little fatty asked Little Tiger and Waiter, “What do you two mean?”
