Chapter 37: Sleeping? You Can Still Sleep?! Seeking Monthly Tickets
Although Zhang Biao’s purple dying for a cause success studies purple was too outrageous for these low-level capital officials.
But a man who could return from the Hall of Supreme Harmony with fifty taels of silver, three pig’s heads, and a bowl of imperial clear soup noodles was absolutely one of a kind in this Great Ming officialdom.
So, no matter how outrageous it was, they all felt that Lord Zhang must be right.
After all, Zhang Biao’s “tough” experiences were themselves quite outrageous.
And as Zhang Biao looked at their eyes, from shock to bewilderment to clarity, the corners of his mouth couldn’t help but curl into a fleeting arc.
“Ahem…”
He cleared his throat and then said loudly, “We just said that timing is the most important thing. If you seize the opportunity, you’ve already succeeded by half!”
“So, what’s next after seizing the opportunity?”
He deliberately paused, building everyone’s anticipation, before raising his voice and saying, “Secondly! You need excellent props!”
As he spoke, he magically pulled out the tattered little notebook, its edges worn as if gnawed by a dog, purple, return my hard-earned money purple, and proudly declared, “See? This is a divine artifact!”
Beep!
In just an instant, it captured everyone’s attention.
Their gazes held a mixture of those who yearned to master the divine artifact, those who admired an idol, those who saw hope, and those who suddenly understood.
Various complex emotions intertwined, their eyes becoming incredibly fervent.
Then Zhang Biao continued his eloquent speech, “Don’t look at this account book being shabby, but it’s eye-catching enough to let people know their history of blood, tears, and hardship!”
“Moreover, when we present the account book, we must have detailed records, such as how many *shi*, how many *dou*, and how many *sheng* are owed! How much is the current rice price! How much is the rent! How much is the firewood! Even how much meat money you owe Wang Mazi must be recorded! The time should be precise to the day, the more miserable, the better! The more specific, the more impactful!”
“When the Emperor reads this, he’ll think—Damn, are our officials really this miserable?”
“See. Doesn’t that bring about a sense of shame and a little bit of guilt?”
Swish swish swish!
There was no longer any talking in the crowd, only the sound of frantic recording.
“Third, and the core of the core!”
Seeing that the people below had finished writing, Zhang Biao suddenly raised his voice again, forcefully patting his shiny, grease-stained lips that still carried the scent of pig’s head meat, making a crisp ‘pa pa’ sound: “Your mouth! It must be greasy!”
As he spoke, his eyes shone brightly, as if he were imparting the secrets of a peerless martial art:
“Everyone, think about it. The Emperor is a ruthless man with a heart of stone. If you go to him with a sob story using normal tactics, do you think he’ll pity you? Give you money? Dream on!”
“Therefore, we must go against the usual methods!”
“A Censor, starved with cracked lips and speaking weakly, goes to the Emperor to cry poverty. He’ll only think you’re being melodramatic! Useless! He’d think it’s a waste of a knife to even behead you!”
“But a Censor who has just devoured three large pig’s heads, with a greasy mouth, a rosy complexion, and a full voice!”
At this point, Zhang Biao puffed out his chest, his voice booming loud enough to scare sparrows from the eaves: “And then cries poverty! The effect—”
He made an explosive gesture: “Will be extraordinary!”
“The Emperor will think—This guy, with an oily mouth, is still crying poverty? How shameless! How arrogant! How infuriating!”
“But at the same time, he’ll also think—Hmm? He seems to be quite articulate? That outrageous remark he just made was so reasonable, and now he’s crying poverty so righteously? Could it be that we really owe him a lot?”
“See. What a strong sense of contrast and absurdity!”
“And this!”
He looked around, his voice firm, and said, “This is our winning strategy!”
Whoosh!
The entire hall erupted in an uproar!
Some felt as if they had been enlightened, their thoughts clear.
Some felt as if they held a divine artifact, unable to control themselves.
“Therefore!”
Zhang Biao concluded his speech with resounding words, “Dying for a cause is a high-risk, high-reward technical profession! And demanding salary is an extension service of dying for a cause, a delicate craft within a technical skill!”
“The core is—eat well! Eat greasy!”
“As long as we make our lips greasy and smooth! With full vitality and a booming voice, we will assault the Emperor’s fragile heart, tormented by state and family affairs! Make him feel shame! Make him angry! Make him have no choice but to hand over money!”
“Remember! Our slogan!”
Zhang Biao raised his arms and shouted, “One cannot speak well when hungry! With a greasy mouth, even the Emperor will worry! Dying for a cause success studies, a greasy mouth is the foundation!”
Boom!
The crowd immediately exploded, almost overturning the entire teahouse.
“Good!!”
“Lord Zhang has profound insights!!”
“Censor Zhang’s words are enlightening!!”
The crowd erupted in enthusiastic cheers and applause.
A group of impoverished low-level capital officials, who were so poor they were almost selling their pants, seemed to have found a new direction in life.
So this is how one can be an official, especially a poor one, in this line of work?!
In their eyes, Zhang Biao was no longer just an ‘idol’.
He was a mentor! A beacon in the darkness! The god who would guide them to freedom of pig’s head meat!
“Zhang Jianxian!!”
The fat Censor excitedly pushed to the front, his face full of admiration, “Then, then how specifically should we do it? How can we make our mouths greasy?”
“Simple!” Zhang Biao waved his hand, immensely confident, “Combine theory with practice! It just so happens that it’s already dinnertime, let’s eat first!”
Saying that, he turned to Shen Lang and said, “Brother Shen!”
Shen Lang immediately stood tall: “Present!”
“Go! To Wang Mazi’s butcher shop! Buy two, no, three pig’s heads! And carry back two jars of the cheapest Shao Daozi liquor!” Zhang Biao took out five taels of silver and slapped it into Shen Lang’s hand.
“Understood!” Shen Lang took the silver and ran faster than a rabbit.
Zhang Biao turned to the eagerly watching crowd, a smile as warm as a spring breeze on his face, “Fellow colleagues! Talking without action is futile! I, Zhang Biao, do not hoard my knowledge! Today, I will hold a purple dying for a cause success studies, practical speed-learning class purple! The location, well…”
He thought for a moment, then looked at the simple teahouse and said, “It will be at my place! You’re all nearby! I don’t have much else, but there’ll be plenty of pig’s head meat! Plenty of drinks! We’ll eat and chat, teach on the spot, and I guarantee you’ll learn. If you don’t learn, I’ll treat you to pig’s head meat next time!”
Whoosh!
The entire hall erupted in another uproar!
Some pounded their chests and feet, shouting, “Lord Zhang’s name will live forever!!”
Some wept with emotion, shouting, “Censor Zhang!! You are truly our reborn parents!”
Some knelt on one knee, “If the Duke does not abandon us…”
In short, the crowd was completely boiling.
Dozens of poorly dressed capital officials in green official robes, surrounding their spiritual leader and pig’s head meat supplier, Zhang Biao, marched mightily towards the small, dilapidated house that held the hope of purple dying for a cause success studies purple.
The scene was less like attending a lesson and more like going to a ‘sacred feast’!
Zhang Biao was surrounded by the crowd, feeling the weight of the remaining ten taels of silver in his embrace, listening to the fanatical shouts of “Censor Zhang” in his ears, and watching Shen Lang sprint with a pig’s head at the end of the alley, his heart filled with heroic spirit, his greasy lips parting into a satisfied smile.
He could already imagine countless mouths, armed with his purple dying for a cause success studies purple, roaring their salary demands with the force of a tidal wave and full of energy at Old Zhu on the dragon throne in the future.
That scene. Tsk tsk, Old Zhu’s expression must have been spectacular!
“Brother Shen!”
Zhang Biao suddenly remembered something and shouted at Shen Lang’s retreating back, his voice filled with beautiful aspirations for the future, “Cut more fatty parts! The fattier and greasier, the better the effect on practicing your mouth!”
“Okay!” Shen Lang replied, and couldn’t help but add, “It’s so late, are we still going to continue training? After eating, aren’t we going home to sleep?”
“Sleep?”
Zhang Biao immediately withdrew his smile, sneering, “You’re all this poor! And you still want to sleep? Can you even sleep?! You must train all night!!”
“Roar—!”
The crowd immediately became as excited as if they had been injected with chicken blood.
