Chapter 83: Social Death Could Not Be More Profound Than This! Seeking First Subscription!
“Hurry and invite the Grand Censor—!”
Zhang Biao and Shen Lang, outside the wall, heard this shout and were stunned for a moment, then burst into earth-shattering laughter.
“Hahahahaha, hahahaha!”
One, two, three, four… nine ‘ha’s. These were Zhang Biao and the others’ extreme mockery of the Ministry of Personnel officials.
Zhang Biao laughed so hard he slapped his thigh:
“Still asking for the Grand Censor? You go find him now, and believe it or not, he’ll write a memorial impeaching you on the spot, draw a clear line between himself and you, and thank me for helping him clean house!?”
“Who says not!”
Shen Lang added fuel to the fire while laughing:
“The Grand Censor might be busy erasing his own name from those archives!”
“Mmm!”
Li Mo nodded heavily, then carved on the stone steps: “The officials of the Ministry of Personnel, their wisdom exhausted, wished to summon the Grand Censor to restrain Biao. However, the Grand Censor might also be unable to protect himself.”
“Pfft! Pfft! Pfft! Pfft—!”
From inside the wall came a series of pfft sounds, whether spitting blood or farting, the final cry for help was like pouring oil on the fire.
It not only drew more relentless mockery and more furious reading of archives, but also extinguished the last shred of hope remaining for the Ministry of Personnel officials.
Despair!
Indescribable despair!
In an instant, it enveloped everyone in the Ministry of Personnel.
With a loud “Bang!”, it seemed someone could no longer bear the despair and fainted.
Immediately after, the heavy, half-built gate of the Ministry of Personnel was violently pulled open from the inside.
The Vice Minister of Personnel, Zhai Shan, with disheveled hair, his official robe torn open, his face a mess of snot, tears, and dust, stumbled out. He completely ignored the low wall and practically threw himself at Zhang Biao’s carriage, clutching a wheel and letting out an incredibly humiliating wail:
“Open the door! We’ll open the door! Commander Zhang! Grandpa Zhang!”
“Stop reading! We admit defeat! We admit to everything! We took bribes! We took money! We appointed people based on favoritism! We did it all! Please, stop reading!”
“We… we are truly our own people! We’ll do whatever you want! Just please be merciful and give us a way to survive—!”
His voice was hoarse and desperate, the last sentence, “our own people,” filled with endless irony and pleading, devoid of any bureaucratic air, leaving only naked fear and collapse after a complete tearing of his disguise.
Other Ministry of Personnel officials also came out, their faces ashen, their eyes vacant, like prisoners awaiting sentencing. Some even collapsed on the ground, and some lost bladder control.
Zhang Biao looked at the utterly collapsed, shamefully behaving Vice Minister of Personnel at his feet, and the soulless ‘own people’ behind him. The smile on his face slowly faded, replaced by a cold calm.
He walked directly to Zhai Shan, looked down at him, and said faintly, “Wouldn’t it have been better to do this earlier? Why force me to use the ultimate audit methods?”
He then glanced around at the other Ministry of Personnel officials and continued,
“Now, take us to the archives and the evaluation department. Don’t try any tricks. My brothers are very interested in editing and publishing lately.”
As soon as he finished speaking, he no longer looked at Zhai Shan, who was limp like mud, and walked straight in.
This time, no one dared to stop them.
All threats, in the face of absolute information superiority and insane dimensional reduction attacks, had become a complete joke.
Sun Gui, carrying the chamber pot lamp, its scent already faint but its symbolic significance still strong, like a victor surveying a battlefield, was the second to step over the threshold of the Ministry of Personnel yamen.
Behind him, Shen Lang, Zhao Fengman, Li Mo, and a group of “salary-demanding death squad” members with burning eyes and high morale, soon entered in a stream.
They looked at the Ministry of Personnel yamen, which was once imposing but now filled with despair, without the slightest fear, only the exhilaration of vindication.
On the ground, the collapsed Vice Minister of Personnel and several other officials, large and small, lay limply, as if their spines had been removed.
The remaining Ministry of Personnel officials who were standing had ashen faces, their eyes darting away, not daring to meet Zhang Biao and his group’s gaze, like lambs awaiting slaughter.
“Get up, Vice Minister Zhai.”
Zhang Biao gently kicked Zhai Shan on the ground with his toe, his tone laced with mockery: “Lead the way, to the archives and evaluation department. Don’t make me say it a third time.”
Zhai Shan, like a puppet, was helped up and, lost and dejected, led the way.
The entire Ministry of Personnel yamen was terrifyingly quiet, with only the sound of everyone’s disordered footsteps and heavy breathing.
Soon, they arrived at the archives.
Looking at the mountains of archive books, Zhang Biao rubbed his chin.
“So much? It’s too slow to read them one by one.”
His eyes rolled, and he had another mischievous idea.
“Brothers! Today we’re going to have a factory-line public audit!”
“Accountant Shen! You lead a team, specifically responsible for rapid screening! Just look for those who were promoted too quickly, or whose evaluations are overly exaggerated or overly denigrating!”
“Censor Sun! You lead a team, responsible for review! If you find any suspicious points, mark them immediately!”
“Editor Li! You lead a team, responsible for on-site public display! Copy the marked exciting content directly onto the white wall or pillars over there! Write the characters large! Make sure everyone can see clearly!”
“The rest of you, maintain order and grind ink for Editor Li!”
As soon as the order was given, this group of low-level capital officials sprang into action as if injected with chicken blood.
They had suffered enough insults in their daily lives, and now, as if holding an Imperial Sword, they worked with great fervor.
The archives instantly turned into an efficient and chaotic assembly line factory:
Shen Lang flipped through them quickly, muttering continuously:
“This one! A Department Director from the Ministry of Works, promoted five ranks in three years, evaluation: exceptionally talented, his father-in-law is—”
Sun Gui took a look: “Review passed! Mark it! His father-in-law is a Councilor in the Office of Transmission!”
Editor Li immediately led his men, carrying thick brushes and an ink bucket found from who-knows-where, to the white wall in the corridor and began writing furiously:
【Zhao Zhonglong, Department Director of the Ministry of Works, promoted five times in three years, his father-in-law is Li Shiyun, Councilor of the Office of Transmission, suspected of nepotism!】
The handwriting was crooked, but incredibly glaring.
Another entry:
“This one! The magistrate of Quzhou, evaluation: outstanding achievements, beloved by the people, but the remarks include a Censor’s secret investigation record, stating he was cruel and tyrannical, causing public outcry!”
“Mark it!”
Another line immediately appeared on the wall:
【Magistrate Wuyong, outstanding achievements, but in reality cruel and tyrannical, evaluation seriously inaccurate!】
“And this one! Hahaha! Hanlin Academy Scholar, evaluation: excellent literary skills, remarks that his best-selling storybook 《The Amorous Scholar Cat-Ear Immortal》 earned substantial royalties, suspected of bribing officials in the Examination Department!”
“Mark it!”
【Sun Youcai, Hanlin Scholar, suspected of bribery for promotion by writing erotic novels!】
One shocking and absurd ‘audit result’ after another was rapidly unearthed.
Then, they were pasted onto the interior walls and pillars of the Ministry of Personnel yamen in the most primitive and public manner.
The Ministry of Personnel officials watched as the walls of their own yamen turned into a wall of shame, filled with their sordid dealings and false evaluations. They all blushed, wishing they could find a hole to crawl into.
Some tried to step forward to stop them, but were glared back by Sun Gui and others with the look of ‘don’t force us to call Brother Biao,’ or blinded by the faint light of the chamber pot lamp.
The entire Ministry of Personnel turned into a massive, public execution scene.
Social death could not be more complete than this.
After an unknown amount of time, Zhang Biao and his group emerged from the Ministry of Personnel yamen, their faces showing the satisfaction of having “caused havoc in heaven.”
“Brother Biao, where do we go next? The Ministry of Justice, or the Ministry of Rites? Or the Ministry of Works?”
Shen Lang, as soon as he came out, couldn’t help but ask excitedly.
Zhao Fengman, looking around, loudly asked, “Do we have brothers in the Ministry of Justice, Ministry of Rites, or Ministry of Works?”
“Yes! Yes! Yes!”
Officials from the three ministries quickly stepped forward to respond.
At this moment, Zhang Biao raised his hand to stop them, and said with a smile:
“We’ve audited three departments in one go. The other three departments will definitely be more prepared, so going there now would be meaningless and troublesome!”
“Then what does Brother Biao mean?”
Sun Gui’s eyes rolled, and without another word, he raised the chamber pot lamp, which had just been refueled in the Ministry of Personnel.
Zhang Biao glanced at him, then rubbed his chin and said, “We’ve been bothering you for so long, I’m sure the brothers are hungry. Let’s go somewhere with plenty of oil!”
“Where?”
Li Mo asked subconsciously.
Zhang Biao patted his stomach and laughed, “Naturally, to Duke Cao Li Jinglong’s mansion! That kid is rich and not clean, we definitely have to audit him!”
“Heh heh!”
Upon hearing this, everyone immediately showed a mischievous expression.
However, at this moment, a group of figures they least wanted to see slowly approached, causing their smiles to freeze on their faces.
“Commander Jiang?”
Shen Lang stammered.
Jiang Huan ignored everyone and walked directly to Zhang Biao, saying coldly, “Zhang Biao!”
“Why are you calling your grandpa?”
Zhang Biao replied flippantly.
“Presumptuous!”
A Battalion Commander immediately drew his saber and reprimanded him.
Jiang Huan, however, expressionlessly raised his hand to stop him and said in a deep voice, “Zhang Biao, I think you’ve gone too far!”
Zhang Biao sneered, then looked down at Jiang Huan dismissively, “I don’t want you to think so, I want me to think so. If you think I’ve gone too far, you can petition the Emperor to have me, Zhang Biao, beheaded!”
“Of course, the Emperor hasn’t woken up yet, and you don’t have the guts to touch me!”
“Zhang Biao!”
Jiang Huan’s face turned cold, his voice carrying a strong killing intent, “Don’t force me!”
“Hahaha!”
Zhang Biao threw his head back and laughed, then scanned Shen Lang and the others, walked past Jiang Huan, and raised his hand, saying, “Brothers! Let the music play! Let the dance continue!”
“Awooo—”
Those who had just been intimidated by Jiang Huan let out a series of ghostly wails.
Immediately after, they headed straight for the luxurious mansion of Duke Cao Li Jinglong.
Jiang Huan, watching them leave, had an extremely dark expression.
At this time, the Battalion Commander cautiously approached and whispered, “Head Jiang, this fellow is so arrogant, why not arrest him and throw him into the Imperial Prison? Anyway, the Emperor hasn’t woken up yet, and we have plenty of ways…”
“Slap—!”
Before he could finish speaking, Jiang Huan slapped him backhand: “Fuck! Your! Mother! Shut up for me!!”
……
Seeking monthly tickets! There are in-store activities in the activity center or in the book club. Don’t miss out!
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