Chapter 42: Do I Look Like Satay To You?
Yang Zi displeasedly glanced at Chi Ye, and after an hour apart, he was still so hate.
“Director Li, I’m back!”
He turned and spread his arms, wanting to hug Director Li.
But Director Li stared strangely at his raised IV drip, stunned: “Teacher Yang Zi… you really didn’t have to be so dedicated!”
“If you’re injured, rest first!”
“It’s fine, I’ll post on Weibo to explain. I accidentally chipped my tooth, no big deal.”
Yang Zi smiled knowingly, thinking he understood.
Director Li: “…”
“Hey, what’s in Teacher Yang Zi’s IV drip? It’s so cold but not frozen? That’s amazing.”
At this time, the Empress Dowager trotted over, glanced up, very surprised.
“You don’t get it.” Chi Ye pointed at Lin Jingyi: “Teacher Yang Zi is getting antifreeze, borrowed from Lin Jingyi.”
Lin Jingyi: “?”
“Cough cough.” Yang Zi feared Chi Ye would say more, quickly saying: “Um… let’s get to our positions. The customers must be waiting impatiently, right?”
“The customers originally thought they could escape with their lives.” Chi Ye returned to his stall: “Didn’t expect they’d still meet their doom in the end.”
Teacher Huang: “…”
“With that mouth of his, I bet he won’t last two days in the industry!”
Teacher Huang gnashed his teeth, but he was also considered “officially back in position.”
Teacher Lu expressed a differential welcome to their arrival, clearly still angry at Yang Zi.
Yang Zi didn’t mind, the group returned to the stall, then he realized the current situation was very bad.
“Why is everyone going to the other side to buy tanghulu?”
Teacher Lu glanced at him, said nothing.
Lin Jingyi was speechless: “You all left earlier, how was Teacher Lu supposed to make tanghulu alone?”
“Aren’t you a person?” Yang Zi had already offended Teacher Lu, so he naturally wouldn’t fear an even more unpopular star than Chi Ye.
Lin Jingyi was furious but didn’t dare retort at Yang Zi, looked at Teacher Lu, pouted aggrievedly, said nothing.
“Yang Zi, not to nag, but why compete with a young girl?”
As the saying goes, everyone has their own way of being cheap, Teacher Lu was clearly willing, his Dominant CEO attribute erupted, immediately stirring up internal strife again.
“Alright, alright, stop arguing.”
Teacher Huang saw this, had a massive headache, and for a moment, he even wanted to defect to Chi Ye’s group!
“Let’s do this properly, or tomorrow we’ll really have to plant potatoes with the villagers.”
He stabilized the situation: “I actually know a bit about how to make tanghulu…”
Before he finished, everyone looked at him strangely.
Teacher Lu subconsciously touched his newly attached bangs, still shaken: “No, no knowledge, please Teacher Huang, no knowledge, I only brought two hairpieces!”
Teacher Huang: “…”
“Look at you all, heh.”
Yang Zi smiled slightly, calm and composed: “I have a plan.”
But when he turned back, everyone had already entered the stall, divided tasks and started working, ignoring him.
“?”
Yang Zi was furious but suppressed it, walked over to Teacher Huang, lowered his voice: “What are we making? The other side’s business is already booming. Forget if we can succeed, even if we do, we can’t beat them.”
“Oh?” Teacher Huang looked up, surprised: “You want to go rob them directly?”
Yang Zi: “…I can’t beat Shi Daifu.”
Teacher Huang laughed: “Then what do you plan? Keep begging?”
Yang Zi got angry, he knew Teacher Huang meant last time in the purple Jian Ni small dwelling, when his group begged from Chi Ye’s group.
“Respect me a bit!”
“What nasty trick do you have this time, spill it.” Teacher Huang was impatient.
“Hehe.” Yang Zi smiled slyly, lips pursed: “We can order takeout!”
Teacher Huang: “?”
Interested, he looked around, saw no one paying attention, lowered his voice: “Order takeout?”
“Yeah.” Yang Zi smug: “I’ll have someone order takeout, grab it when the program team isn’t looking. They’ve already bought it, they can’t really make us throw it away, right? Impossible.”
Teacher Huang looked at Yang Zi in great admiration: “You’re suited to be a regular on purple Extreme Challenge!”
He greatly appreciated Yang Zi’s suggestion, because in the variety show he and Peng Chen were regulars on, everyone went wild, program team rules were basically nothing.
This way, they could even create the program effect everyone wanted.
He glanced at his PD, pointed at him, signaling not to talk.
PD trembled, sealed his mouth.
“How about it? This trick works, right?”
“Too nasty.” Teacher Huang commented: “Yang Zi, you’re the kind of bad that festers, without any additives.”
Yang Zi: “?”
“Alright, let’s do it!” Teacher Huang rubbed his hands like a fly, looking at Chi Ye’s group busy collecting money, chuckled slyly: “Still collecting money over there? Hmm… we still need to pretend to work, for cover.”
“Good, good.”
The two old men slyly settled on the counterattack plan, then Yang Zi found a secluded spot, called his assistant: “Hello?”
“What’s up, Yang Zong? Fighting again? Need backup?!” The assistant urgently halted the “script team,” stopped his “work.”
Yang Zi: “…Fight what? We’re all buddies now… um… order some tanghulu on the takeout software, then quietly deliver it to me.”
“Order takeout?”
The assistant was stunned, immediately nodded: “Okay… um… how many specifically, what kind?”
“Nonsense, do I need to spell it out?” Yang Zi dissatisfied: “A good quantity, but not too much. As for what… the most expensive and best! That way we can attract customers!”
Assistant: “…Alright, got it.”
After a brief exchange, Yang Zi returned to the stall with hands behind his back, acting like a big shot.
At this moment, Teacher Lu and Lin Jingyi also knew his “plan,” their attitude toward him improved: “Teacher Yang Zi is here, you go string the skewers… um…”
Teacher Lu saw his “IV drip” hand, could only say: “You go lie down.”
Yang Zi looked around: “…Lie where? On the ground?”
Teacher Lu: “…Then sit for a bit.”
“Alright.” Yang Zi grinned, found a chair and sat like a big shot.
…
“Something’s off, why hasn’t the other side started fighting yet?”
Opposite stall.
Chi Ye sent off another of Jin Xia’s fans, sat back on the stool, grinning ear to ear.
Maybe because he’s been too poor this lifetime, he found he really enjoyed the joy of collecting money!
But collecting money is joyful, the other side not infighting was a bit not joyful!
“Something’s wrong, something’s wrong, there must be a catch.”
He rubbed his chin suspiciously.
“Teacher Chi, a viewer with SVIP asks, what exactly happened to Teacher Yang Zi’s face?”
The nearby PD teacher was also very relaxed.
Unlike Teacher Lu’s group, Chi Ye’s group was way more comfortable in this segment, and after two major incidents live, popularity kept rising.
“This?” Chi Ye heard the PD’s question, knew the program team was stirring, casually replied: “Teacher Yang Zi just bumped into a tanghulu, the tanghulu became a spirit, knocked out two of his teeth.”
Live broadcast room bullet comments: 「???」
Such an obscure description!
“Teacher Chi, Teacher Chi, guess what I made!”
The Empress Dowager trotted over happily, hands behind her back, her charming peach blossom eyes full of laughter, coquettishly calling: “Guess quick!”
“What?” Chi Ye curious: “Made a person for real?”
Jin Xia’s face changed in a second, pouted and said nothing.
Chi Ye straightened up: “See, I guessed and you’re unhappy again… um, rose?”
“No.” The Empress Dowager “thump thump thump thump” shouted, handed an adorable “little wealth god” to Chi Ye: “Little wealth god!!”
“Whoa, you can make this?!”
Chi Ye surprised, then delighted.
He really liked this one.
“Of course! Cut a strawberry in half, blueberries as little ears, a piece of banana for the body, easy!”
Jin Xia smug, handed it to Chi Ye: “I saw how much you like collecting money, for you!”
Chi Ye took the “little wealth god,” having received gifts nonstop, felt a bit embarrassed: “Um… next time I’ll take you to try French imported gutter oil.”
Jin Xia: “?”
Program team: “…”
Chi Ye, you’re no human!
“I’m going back to work.” The Empress Dowager turned happily.
“What are you making next?”
“I’m making a ‘Kung Fu Panda’ for Sister Shi Shi!”
Chi Ye: “…Suggest making a Transformer for Lin Jingyi too!”
The Empress Dowager puzzled: “Her ‘skills’ should be better than mine…”
Chi Ye stunned, sighed: “Actually sometimes, you’re pretty nasty too.”
The Empress Dowager: “?!”
“…”
While they were happily interacting, in a corner off-camera, Yang Zi’s assistant carried a “big box,” panting and waving at Yang Zi.
“Yang Zong! Yang Zong!”
Yang Zi looked up, then pretended casually to stand, stretched: “Mm~ my face feels off, gonna check it.”
“Go, go.”
People around waved.
Yang Zi now with “both arms useless,” basically handled losing face for Teacher Lu’s group. Seeing him move, everyone knew the goods arrived!
“Um… follow me.”
Yang Zi glanced at the PD, signaled silence, then casually walked to the assistant.
Secretly: “Where’s the stuff?”
The assistant tried to hand over the box, but saw his “hands” occupied, awkward: “How to carry it over?”
“…” Yang Zi also stunned, glanced at PD, then assistant: “…Can I carry it in my mouth?”
Assistant: “?”
When did Yang Zong learn sarcasm from Chi Ye!
“…I’ll call someone.”
Yang Zi annoyed, turned to call his “good buddy” Teacher Huang, the two mysteriously carried the box back to the stall.
“Look, look, what we got!”
“Such a big box, Yang Zi, you did a huge deed!”
Everyone excited, thinking they could finally open for business.
Yang Zi eagerly opened the box, looked inside, eyes went black: “Hm?!”
“What the hell is this?!”
Teacher Huang also dumbfounded.
The box the assistant brought was indeed full of “rock candy tanghulu,” but the varieties were completely different from what they imagined.
Rock Candy Lobster, Rock Candy King Crab, Rock Candy Mantis Shrimp…
Where’s the hawthorn?!
Where’s the hawthorn?!
Yang Zi’s mouth twitched, heart attack.
“No way, is your assistant an idiot? Really fanning the main? Can we sell this stuff?! Who’d buy it?”
Teacher Huang was floored: “What did you tell him?”
Yang Zi guilty: “I… said get the best and most expensive.”
Everyone: “…”
Teacher Huang suddenly realized, pointed at Yang Zi: “You did it on purpose, to gain popularity this way?”
Others also woke up, eyeing Yang Zi suspiciously.
—They knew him now, others couldn’t pull this, but he absolutely could!
Yang Zi furious: “What are you saying! I’m not that kind of person!”
The big shot hadn’t even eaten much tanghulu before, who knew besides Turtle Honey, there were even more hellish expensive “tanghulu”!
Everyone: “…”
“So… what now?”
Everyone looked at the “seafood feast” in the box, speechless.
Did a huge deed?
Dropped a huge turd!
“No worries, there are ‘normal’ tanghulu below!”
Suddenly, Lin Jingyi dug below, found a layer of tanghulu.
Everyone finally relaxed.
“Phew… as long as we can sell.”
“Then these things…”
Yang Zi pointed at the heavyweight “guests” like Rock Candy King Crab.
“No problem, we can sell these too, secretly… ask the assistant how much they cost.”
Teacher Huang’s eyes turned, thinking they’ve bought it, use as gimmick.
“No need, receipt’s on top.”
Yang Zi tore off the receipt on the box, gnashed teeth: “King Crab 1500… Lobster 1000… this box cost over seven thousand?!”
Everyone: “…”
“You’re such a fool and his money…”
Teacher Huang gloated.
Luckily, aside from a few eye-catchers, the other tanghulu were legit “good stuff.” Everyone gained confidence, furtively started “swapping under the stall.”
“Hey, hey! What are you doing?! Playing like this?”
Chi Ye’s side had long noticed the enemy’s movement.
Because the other side didn’t even try to hide, with PD following the whole time, couldn’t hide.
“Director, I report them! They ordered takeout! How’s that allowed?”
Chi Ye dissatisfied, they worked hard… Shi Daifu worked hard on the tanghulu, but other side orders takeout and surpasses them?
Where are the program team rules? Where’s justice?
Director Li had also noticed, hurried over, looked at the “suspects” casually standing: “No, how much takeout did you order?”
“Takeout? What takeout? Didn’t order.”
Yang Zi stubborn.
“We were just messing around, didn’t order.”
“Didn’t order? King Crab came out, still say no? East Sea Dragon King, turning into seafood?!”
Chi Ye sauntered over, pointed under the stall: “I saw, hiding right there!”
Director Li’s face also “looked bad,” actually laughing inside.
Yes, yes, this creates program effect.
“Ordering takeout is not allowed, and using guests’ private money, breaks the rules.”
Director Li expressionless: “So all takeout ordered by Teacher Lu’s group counts as your owed revenue, currently owe 10 bucks, plus these…”
The box was lifted up, opened, saw King Crab and Lobster, Director Li grinned to his molars: “Owe… thousands? Or tens of thousands…”
“Not that expensive, not!”
Teacher Huang reacted, hid the receipt, waved: “These are samples, not expensive.”
Yang Zi snapped to, also lied: “We got a discount when buying.”
“?”
Director Li puzzled: “Then how much did these cost?”
Yang Zi: “A hundred bucks.”
Everyone: “?”
“Buddy, discount or beating? Look, you beat Director Li silly!”
Chi Ye floored.
Director Li seriously looked at Yang Zi: “Do I look satay to you?”
Votes and support please! Author saving drafts, explosive updates on release!
